"Everything is annoying me."
"I can't concentrate."
"I don't know why I'm so tired."
"I just can't deal with this today."
If you have a teenage daughter, chances are you've heard some version of these before; and sometimes, there might be a pattern.
Perhaps there are weeks when she seems to manage school, homework, friendships and family life reasonably well. Then suddenly, everything feels harder. She's more overwhelmed, more anxious; getting started on homework feels impossible; a small disagreement with a friend becomes enormous. She's exhausted by things she normally manages, then a few days later, things seem to settle again.
As parents, it can be tempting to put this down to hormones, and they very well may be part of the picture.
But that doesn't mean it's just hormones.
Hormones can affect more than mood
We often associate the menstrual cycle with mood changes, but hormones interact with the brain in complex ways, and emerging research suggests that changes across the menstrual cycle may also influence things like attention, executive functioning and emotional regulation.
This is particularly interesting when we think about girls with ADHD. ADHD already affects the brain's ability to regulate attention, organise, get started, manage impulses and regulate emotions. Developing research is beginning to suggest that, for some girls and women with ADHD, these difficulties may fluctuate alongside hormonal changes.
Not every girl with ADHD will notice a difference across her cycle, and we don't yet understand exactly how hormones and ADHD interact. But for some girls, the pattern appears to be very real.
Sometimes the demands haven't changed. Their capacity has.
Imagine your teenager usually has just enough capacity to manage a full day at school. She concentrates in class, keeps track of what she needs, navigates friendships, and can hold herself together when something goes wrong. She then arrives home, starts homework and manages the usual family demands.
Then there are days when all of those same things seem to require far more effort.
The homework hasn't become harder; her morning routine hasn't changed.
That's an important distinction.
Because what can look from the outside like irritability, laziness, disorganisation or "attitude" may sometimes be a teenager whose usual coping strategies simply aren't stretching as far.
“You’re just hormonal” rarely helps
Even when we can see a clear pattern, how we talk about it matters. Telling a teenager, "You're probably just hormonal," might be well-intentioned. But to her, it can sound like: "What you're feeling isn't real."
Hormones may influence how intensely she experiences something; however, they don't make the experience meaningless.
That friendship problem may genuinely hurt; the assignment may genuinely feel overwhelming; she may genuinely be struggling to concentrate. Understanding that hormones could be contributing gives us useful information. It shouldn't give us a reason to dismiss what she's telling us.
Get curious about the pattern
Rather than pointing it out in the middle of a difficult moment, wait until things are calm.
You might say: "I've noticed there seem to be some weeks when everything feels a bit harder. Have you noticed that too?"
For some teenagers, simply starting to track their cycle alongside things like mood, anxiety, energy, concentration and sleep can be incredibly helpful. Patterns that felt unpredictable can start to make more sense, and once we can see a pattern, we can think differently about support.
Perhaps she needs more help getting started on homework, more downtime after school, fewer unnecessary demands, more sleep, or simply a parent who understands that something she managed easily last week may genuinely feel harder today.
That's not about removing expectations; it's about recognising capacity.
A final thought
We're only beginning to understand the relationship between ADHD and female hormones, and there is still much more research needed. We know that girls and women with ADHD have historically been overlooked in research, diagnosis and treatment. Listening when they tell us their experience changes across their cycle is an important place to start.
So if your teenager seems to struggle more at certain times of the month, resist the urge to dismiss it as "just hormones." Get curious, look for the pattern, and remember that sometimes the question isn't:
"Why can't she cope with this today?" It's: "Does she have less capacity to cope with it today?"
That small shift can help a teenager feel understood rather than judged, and help parents respond to what she actually needs.
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